WA History, HumorMarch 28, 2006 11:23 pm

You know the state flower (Mildew) (well, it’s actually the coast rhody, but yeah… )

You feel guilty when you don’t recycle. (shh… - and it’s true)

You use the phrase "sun break" and know what it means. (of course!)

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee. (actually, I don’t - but I know people who know more than 20)

You know more people who own boats than air conditioners. (true)

You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant. (true)

You’ve stood on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal. (*cough*)

You understand that if it has no snow or has not erupted, it is not a real mountain. (true!!!)

You can taste the difference between Starbuck’s, Seattle’s Best, Veneto’s, Peet’s, and Tully’s. (I still make mistakes…)

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon. (yeah, you can’t?)

You consider swimming an indoor sport. (um… it’s not outdoor?)

You are well versed in the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food. (not forgetting Vietnamese, Indonesian, and all the others)

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark — while only working eight-hour days. (yep)

You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho. (yep)

You are not fazed by "Today’s forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showers." (it was a bit annoying when the rain lasted for a whole month…)

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation. (this isn’t the east!)

You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover. (now that you mention it, yes)

You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it. (yep)

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. (sometimes…)

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on. (no!!)

You’ve actually used your mountain bike on a mountain. (I would if I had one)

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists. (yep)

You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier’s window was fake. (me: :-)

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Washington. (I think this is proof… )

WA History, HumorMarch 24, 2006 10:14 pm

Tacoma Dome Cartoon

Tacoma Dome Controversy

Circa 1982
Myron Thompson
Tacoma News Tribune

A major issue that stirred up Pierce County and Tacoma in the early 1980s was the building of the Tacoma Dome. Nearly every resident had an opinion about how the dome should be built.

This Thompson cartoon shows the different factions that joined the fray. A Tacoma Dome "jury" of citizens was finally chosen to decide on design plans, and the Dome opened its doors to the public on April 21, 1983, on schedule and under budget. It is the largest wood domed structure in the world, and besides being a great facility for athletics, it is nationally known for its high concert-quality acoustics.

WA History, MilitaryMarch 20, 2006 9:06 pm

From Washington Wars

Groups of Northern Indian tribes from British Columbia were causing problems in Puget Sound. Traveling in war canoes, armed with Hudson Bay Company muskets and having contempt for any law but force. When one of these groups showed up at Henderson Bay near Steilacoom and began to terrorize a logging camp, word quickly was sent to the nearby Army headquarters.

Lt. Col. Silas Casey, commanding Fort Steilacoom, quickly sent troops to drive the Indians away and ordering them to leave the Puget Sound region. The Indians removed themselves beyond the range of the fort’s guns, but no farther. The next day Casey observing that the Army had no vessels with which to enforce its orders requested assistance from the Navy. Writing to Commander Samuel Swartwout, captain of the USS Massachusetts Casey requested that Swartwout "…take the matter in hand, and take such steps as you may think best calculated, to advance the interest of all concerned.."

Swartwout set sail for Steilacoom early on November 19, 1856, only to find the Indians had departed during the night. The Massachusetts steamed north in pursuit, arriving in the evening at Port Madison where the same Indians had caused more problems for the settlers. As it was too late to go much farther, Swartwout ordered a halt for the night and resumed the at 8:40 the next morning.

From passing vessels it was learned the war party appeared heading for Port Gamble. The Massachusetts proceeded there and arrived at at 12:45. Within the hour Commander Swartwout dispatched two small boats ashore containing eighteen armed men and an interpreter. The Indians were found to have joined forces with more Northerners and now numbered 117 in all besides quite a few women and children, encamped along the beach. The shore party, commanded by Lt. I. Young, were under orders to "…have a friendly talk…" with the Indians and "…endeavor to prevail on them to leave the Sound peaceably…"

Swartwout planed to tow them in their own canoes across the Strait as far as Victoria, with two or three of their chiefs traveling on board his vessel as hostages. But as the shore party neared the beach, a large force of Indians rushed down to meet them, brandishing rifles and threatening to shoot anyone who landed. Lt. Young tried communicating Swartwout’s orders to them from the launch but only received jeers and threats in replay. Faced with the menacing situation Young hurriedly order the boats back to the Massachusetts.

Swartwout sent to town for a local man, a Dr. Bigelow, to act as emissary. Bigelow approaching the Indians camp under a flag of truce while three boats carrying 45 armed men and a howitzer ranged themselves off shore. Bigelow conveyed Swartwout’s proposition to the Indians who replied that they would not leave until they were good and ready. The Indians then gave more threats and insults at Lt. Young and his men. Young expected them to attack at any moment and withdrew for the second time.

By now it was beginning to get dark and a heavy rain storm threatened. Concluding that more direction action would be necessary, Swartwout had the ship moved closer to shore and prepared for an attack in the morning. At day light an interpreter again went ashore under a flag of truce to repeat Swartwout’s demands. While this was going on a party of 29 men, under the command of Lt. Seemes (Lt. Young had fallen and was injured) came ashore in heavy seas, wading through chilly waist-high water and carrying with them one of the howitzers. Seemes advanced to where the interpreter was speaking with several chiefs and gave them a last opportunity to surrender. This was refused.

While Seemes was rejoining the shore party the Indians quickly took up positions at the edge of the woods. The Massachusetts began bombarding the camp with both round and grape shot, while the shore party charged under cover, driving the Indians into the dense woods, with the Indians firing their small arms and reloading as they went.

An Indian chief fell, wounded in the thigh, both legs broken. Two women ran out to aid him, and the marines called to them to surrender. One did and was taken prisoner; the other refused and was shot and killed. The shore party began destroying the Indians canoes, huts and other property including three hundred new blankets. The shore party returned to the ship about 10:00 in the morning. For the rest of the day the Massachusetts bombarded the woods, firing at anything seen moving in the timber, pausing only to bring the ship even closer to shore. Another shore land was made to smash one last canoe which had been only partly damaged earlier in the day. The Massachusetts continued its bombardment until sunset, when Swartout sent the woman who had been taken prisoner ashore with a demand for surrender; the Indians replied that they would fight to the last man.

But that night the Indians counted up their dead and wounded and hunted for their missing while shivering unprotected in a cold November rain. At daybreak they had enough. Two of their chiefs visited the ship and surrendered, a white flag was hoisted on the Massachusetts and all hostilities ceased.

The Indians had 27 men killed, including one of their principal chiefs. They had 21 wounded, had lost all their belongings, and were without food or shelter of any kind. The Navy had one killed, one injured, and three instances of being struck by bullets which glanced off such objects as pistols and knife handles. Swartwout issued the Indians bread and molasses and gave them twenty-four hours to bury their dead. During the night of November 24-25 he loaded the survivors aboard the Massachusetts, steamed across to Victoria and when the British governor there refused to take them off his hands, proceeded on up the coast to Lasqueti Island where he put them ashore.

Although the Indians promised never to return to the Puget Sound region they did; the following August and avenged their dead by beheading Whidbey Island settler Isaac N. Ebey.

WA History 8:56 pm

To affirm that the airplane is going to revolutionize the future is to be guilty of the wildest exaggeration …
Scientific American Magazine, 1910

In 1903, two events launched the history of modern aviation. The Wright brothers made their first flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and William Boeing, born Oct. 1, 1881, in Detroit, Michigan, left Yale engineering college for the West Coast.

After making his fortune trading forest lands around Grays Harbor, Washington, Boeing moved to Seattle in 1908 and, two years later, went to Los Angeles for the first American air meet. Boeing tried to get a ride in one of the airplanes, but not one of the dozen aviators participating in the event would oblige. Boeing came back to Seattle disappointed, but determined to learn more about this new science of aviation.

For the next five years, Boeing’s air travel was mostly theoretical, explored during conversations at Seattle’s University Club with George Conrad Westervelt, a Navy engineer who had taken several aeronautics courses from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

The two checked out biplane construction and were passengers on an early Curtiss Aeroplane and Motor Company-designed biplane that required the pilot and passenger to sit on the wing. Westervelt later wrote that he "could never find any definite answer as to why it held together." Both were convinced they could build a biplane better than any on the market.

In the autumn of 1915, Boeing returned to California to take flying lessons from another aviation pioneer, Glenn Martin. Before leaving, he asked Westervelt to start designing a new, more practical airplane. Construction of the twin-float seaplane began in Boeing’s boathouse, and they named it the B & W, after their initials.

Keep reading.

WA HistoryMarch 19, 2006 2:29 am

The text was produced by one "Dr." Smith, an early settler in Washington State, who took notes as Seattle spoke in the Suquamish dialect of central Puget sound Salish (Lushootseed), and created this text in English from those notes. Smith insisted that his version "contained none of the grace and elegance of the original." The last two sentences of the text here given have been considered for many years to have been part of the original, but are now known to have been added by an early 20th century historian and ethnographic writer, A.C. Ballard.

There are many versions and excerpts from this text, including a wholly fraudulent version [known as the Ted Perry text] mentioning buffalo and the interconnectedness of all life which was written by a Hollywood screenwriter in the late 70’s and which has gained wide currency. The bogus version has been quoted by individuals as prominent and diverse as former U.S. President Bush and Joseph Campbell.

At the time this speech was made it was commonly believed by whites and as well by many Indians that Native Americans would inevitably become extinct.

 

Yonder sky that has wept tears of compassion upon my people for centuries untold, and which to us appears changeless and eternal, may change. Today is fair. Tomorrow it may be overcast with clouds. My words are like the stars that never change. Whatever Seattle says, the great chief at Washington can rely upon with as much certainty as he can upon the return of the sun or the seasons. The white chief says that Big Chief at Washington sends us greetings of friendship and goodwill. This is kind of him for we know he has little need of our friendship in return. His people are many. They are like the grass that covers vast prairies. My people are few. They resemble the scattering trees of a storm-swept plain. The great, and I presume - good, White Chief sends us word that he wishes to buy our land but is willing to allow us enough to live comfortably. This indeed appears just, even generous, for the Red Man no longer has rights that he need respect, and the offer may be wise, also, as we are no longer in need of an extensive country.

There was a time when our people covered the land as the waves of a wind-ruffled sea cover its shell-paved floor, but that time long since passed away with the greatness of tribes that are now but a mournful memory. I will not dwell on, nor mourn over, our untimely decay, nor reproach my paleface brothers with hastening it, as we too may have been somewhat to blame.

Youth is impulsive. When our young men grow angry at some real or imaginary wrong, and disfigure their faces with black paint, it denotes that their hearts are black, and that they are often cruel and relentless, and our old men and old women are unable to restrain them. Thus it has ever been. Thus it was when the white man began to push our forefathers ever westward. But let us hope that the hostilities between us may never return. We would have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Revenge by young men is considered gain, even at the cost of their own lives, but old [men who stay] at home in times of war, and mothers who have sons to lose, know better.

Our good father in Washington-for I presume he is now our father as well as yours, since King George has moved his boundaries further north-our great and good father, I say, sends us word that if we do as he desires he will protect us. His brave warriors will be to us a bristling wall of strength, and his wonderful ships of war will fill our harbors, so that our ancient enemies far to the northward - the Haidas and Tsimshians - will cease to frighten our women, children, and old men. Then in reality he will be our father and we his children.

But can that ever be? Your God is not our God! Your God loves your people and hates mine! He folds his strong protecting arms lovingly about the paleface and leads him by the hand as a father leads an infant son. But, He has forsaken His Red children, if they really are His. Our God, the Great Spirit, seems also to have forsaken us. Your God makes your people wax stronger every day. Soon they will fill all the land. Our people are ebbing away like a rapidly receding tide that will never return. The white man’s God cannot love our people or He would protect them. They seem to be orphans who can look nowhere for help. How then can we be brothers? How can your God become our God and renew our prosperity and awaken in us dreams of returning greatness? If we have a common Heavenly Father He must be partial, for He came to His paleface children. We never saw Him. He gave you laws but had no word for His red children whose teeming multitudes once filled this vast continent as stars fill the firmament. No; we are two distinct races with separate origins and separate destinies. There is little in common between us.

To us the ashes of our ancestors are sacred and their resting place is hallowed ground. You wander far from the graves of your ancestors and seemingly without regret. Your religion was written upon tablets of stone by the iron finger of your God so that you could not forget. The Red Man could never comprehend or remember it. Our religion is the traditions of our ancestors - the dreams of our old men, given them in solemn hours of the night by the Great Spirit; and the visions of our sachems, and is written in the hearts of our people. Your dead cease to love you and the land of their nativity as soon as they pass the portals of the tomb and wander away beyond the stars. They are soon forgotten and never return. Our dead never forget this beautiful world that gave them being. They still love its verdant valleys, its murmuring rivers, its magnificent mountains, sequestered vales and verdant lined lakes and bays, and ever yearn in tender fond affection over the lonely hearted living, and often return from the happy hunting ground to visit, guide, console, and comfort them. Day and night cannot dwell together. The Red Man has ever fled the approach of the White Man, as the morning mist flees before the morning sun. However, your proposition seems fair and I think that my people will accept it and will retire to the reservation you offer them. Then we will dwell apart in peace, for the words of the Great White Chief seem to be the words of nature speaking to my people out of dense darkness.

It matters little where we pass the remnant of our days. They will not be many. The Indian’s night promises to be dark. Not a single star of hope hovers above his horizon. Sad-voiced winds moan in the distance. Grim fate seems to be on the Red Man’s trail, and wherever he will hear the approaching footsteps of his fell destroyer and prepare stolidly to meet his doom, as does the wounded doe that hears the approaching footsteps of the hunter.

A few more moon, a few more winters, and not one of the descendants of the mighty hosts that once moved over this broad land or lived in happy homes, protected by the Great Spirit, will remain to mourn over the graves of a people once more powerful and hopeful than yours. But why should I mourn at the untimely fate of my people? Tribe follows tribe, and nation follows nation, like the waves of the sea. It is the order of nature, and regret is useless. Your time of decay may be distant, but it will surely come, for even the White Man whose God walked and talked with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We will see.

We will ponder your proposition and when we decide we will let you know. But should we accept it, I here and now make this condition that we will not be denied the privilege without molestation of visiting at any time the tombs of our ancestors, friends, and children. Ever part of this soil is sacred in the estimation of my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove, has been hallowed by some sad or happy event in days long vanished. Even the rocks, which seem to be dumb and dead as the swelter in the sun along the silent shore, thrill with memories of stirring events connected with the lives of my people, and the very dust upon which you now stand responds more lovingly to their footsteps than yours, because it is rich with the blood of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch. Our departed braves, fond mothers, glad, happy hearted maidens, and even the little children who lived here and rejoiced here for a brief season, will love these somber solitudes and at eventide they greet shadowy returning spirits. And when the last Red Man shall have perished, and the memory of my tribe shall have become a myth among the White Men, these shores will swarm with the invisible dead of my tribe, and when your children’s children think themselves alone in the field, the store, the shop, upon the highway, or in the silence of the pathless woods, they will not be alone. In all the earth there is no place dedicated to solitude. At night when the streets of your cities and villages are silent and you think them deserted, they will throng with the returning hosts that once filled them and still love this beautiful land. The White Man will never be alone. Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not powerless.

HumorMarch 18, 2006 9:56 pm

Once upon a time, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. “Where have you been?”

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put Life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”

“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,” God continued pointing to diff erent countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

“Ah,” said God “That’s Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

God smiled, “There is another Washington… wait until you see the idiots I put there.”